3 Tips to Get Out of Your Head and Start Expressing Yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” ~Bruce Lee

I have always been timid when it comes to expressing myself, speaking my mind, and standing up for something. This stems from being raised in a culture where showing emotions is frowned upon.

Nothing I ever did seemed good enough. There was constant criticism that I could do better, and be better. I was raised to never to talk back to my seniors and not to say anything when I had nothing nice to say.

So, I’ve always played it safe and stood by the sideline, and I never wanted to rock the boat. And sometimes, when I’ve felt like saying something, I’ve wondered if people would even care.

Because, frankly, sometimes people talk just for the sake of talking or because they want attention, and that bothered me. However, I also envied those who could just say what they think and speak their truth, even though I may or may not have agreed with them.

Nonetheless, as years passed, the more I stayed mummed, the more horrible my body and mind felt.

Eventually, I became depressed. I felt like no one cared, I didn’t know who I should be, and I felt lost. Not wanting to blame the past anymore, I knew I needed to find something to take me away from this darkness.

Along the way, I found Bodytalk and yoga, and these were the things that helped me get out of my depression and helped shift my mindset. As I became more engaged with these activities, my inner voice grew stronger and stronger, and it wanted to come out and express itself.

I began to accept myself for who I am, and soon, much like Katy Perry, I was ready for the world to hear me “Roar.”

The Problem

It took me forever to express myself in both writing and speaking because I felt like I had to craft the perfect message to sound smart, funny, and diplomatic. By the time I was ready to share my thoughts, the conversation topic had gone, and the moment had passed.

Yes, it’s great to be thoughtful but Come on! I would tell myself. Stop bottling up your thoughts and start expressing yourself without care.

I’ve learned to nurture my voice and not spend so much time crafting my message and worrying about what others think.

These are the three philosophies that have helped me get out of my head, let go, and start expressing myself.

1. The only person you need to impress is yourself. 

Yes, it’s scary to put yourself out there to have people judge you. But if you know who you are and what you stand for, does it matter what others think, when you know your truth and what it means to you?

The truth is, if you are comfortable in your own skin, what others think of you probably won’t bother you that much. After all, you will always have people who will be for you or against you, so why not stand for something and just be you? What’s the worst thing that could happen?

“In the end people will judge you anyway, don’t live your life impressing others. Live your life impressing yourself.” ~from Raw for Beauty

2. Stand for something.

This is important. It allows you to let your personality shine. It is also the foundation of your values, which help shape your identity, allowing people to connect with you, enabling you to surround yourself with likeminded people for support.

Remember, no man is an island, as John Donne wrote. We, as human beings, need to interact with another and need each other to find fulfillment in our lives. So stand for something to build your world of lovers and ‘haters,’ instead of having no supporters or challengers to help you grow.

3. Let go of the outcome.

Sometimes we say things or do things because we want to get a certain reaction or action out of people. However, keeping in mind we have no control over anything in life (except for our actions and our responses), why not speak your truth?

Your body and mind will be grateful because you are being honest with yourself. In the end, whatever happens, you’ve got nothing to lose because you have honored your truth. No regrets.

“Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out. I wanna see you be brave.” ~Sara Bareilles, Brave

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-tips-get-out-of-head-start-expressing-yourself/

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How to Express Yourself

One of the hardest things to do when you’re communicating with someone is expressing yourself. How many times have you said something that just didn’t come out the way you wanted it to? How many times have we said something that we really didn’t mean, but we were too frustrated to stop it from being said?

What’s more, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They’re afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions.

This can be a constant struggle for people. However, it is something that can be conquered. If you are struggling to express yourself to others, or you know of someone who struggles, then read on. This article will show you what you can do to open up with others.

THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION

Every being on the planet communicates in some fashion. And the more complex the form of communication is, you will find more complex relationships as well.

Human speech is the most complicated form of communication in the world. We have so many ways to express ideas, feelings, dreams, suggestions, thoughts, intents, love, rage, desire, and so forth. Consider this list of words:

* Tiny
* Sizable
* Usual
* Big
* Small
* Large
* Normal
* Gigantic
* Minuscule
* Humongous
* Microscopic
* Minute
* Huge
* Average
* Outsized
* Regular
* Short
* Tall

All of these words are indefinable. Try to define ‘big’. Uh, not small? Then what is ‘small’? Not big? You see, these words convey subtle differences to us, and yet they are all relative words. They depend upon what you are comparing them to. An ant is tiny compared to an elephant, but is large compared to a fruit fly, while the elephant is microscopic when compared to our solar-system.

Words have meaning to us. Subtle differences in each word will convey a slightly different idea. Huge and gigantic have subtle differences. We think of gigantic as bigger than huge. Thus, the words you use in your relationships are of powerful importance. The person who said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” never had a complex and in-depth relationship. Words can hurt.

Words have the power to give life and death…especially in relationships.

So it is important that you learn to express yourself. You must learn to convey your thoughts, ideas, dreams, ambitions, hopes and emotions to those that you share a relationship with. Your inability to do so, will damage your relationships.

DANGERS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF

1. If you have a fear of people, people will avoid you. It’s a vicious cycle. You avoid people because you fear that they will hurt you. People see your aloofness, and either think the worst (that you’re stuck up), or grant your desire and leave you alone. Then you wonder why it is that no one likes you.

2. When you can’t open up to people, people will feel that you are unapproachable. You’ll have a hard time getting close to people when you bottle everything up inside. Your relationships will all be shallow.

3. Your inability to express yourself will haunt you in times of trouble. You’ll need help, you’ll want help, but you won’t seek it. You’ll hide. So, no one helps you. Then you grow resentful and angry.

4. Another danger is that of isolation. You build walls around your emotions and people instinctively leave you alone. That might be what you wanted at first, but your life will be barren, and empty. Life is relationships. The stronger your relationships the more joy you’ll have in life. No matter if it is with your mate, God, children, neighbors, co-workers, friends, relatives, or even yourself, you must learn to express yourself.

TIPS ON EXPRESSING YOURSELF

Do A Lot Of Reading

Reading will help you learn how other people express themselves. Pay attention to word usage, diction, flow, voice and tone. These will give you ideas on expressing yourself.

Look up words that you’ve never seen before. Use them. They’ll provide you with many and myriad ways of expressing your emotions. Often, I’ve found that a single word does better expressing what I feel than an entire paragraph of sentences. Learning new words will help you express yourself better and reading will help you to learn different ways to do so.

A wise man once said, not every reader is a leader, but every leader is a reader.

Do Some Writing On Your Own

Do a variety of writing. Start a novel. Write letters. Keep a journal or diary. Often, you’ll find that writing helps you to think your thoughts through. In the heat of an argument, you’ll often say what you don’t mean in a tone that creates more resentment. Writing will help you organize your thoughts. It’ll give you focus and direction.

Don’t Fear People’s Judgment

Social anxiety is not a disease. You can’t catch it from someone who has it. It is a spiritual state of mind that is the direct result of fear. There is really only one type of fear and that is the fear of the unknown. Don’t fear what other people think about you. Honestly, yourimagination will create far worse scenarios than what most people will ever think.

To overcome your fear, try asking for their help. Try this, “I’m having a hard time expressing myself, and I thought maybe you could help me.” Saying that will invoke an instinctual need that most everyone has-the desire to help and feel needed. Hardly anyone will be critical of you when you’ve asked for their help.

It also sets the stage to retract what you may say when you say it wrong. Since you’ve already warned them that you are struggling with expressing yourself, when you actually struggle with it, they’ll just shrug it off. It’s a great tool to overcoming your fear of other people’s judgment.

When You’re Upset, Write A Letter

If you’re furious at someone, then go ahead and write them a nasty letter. Just don’t give it to them. Sleep on it. The next morning, go back over the letter. You’ll find that your attitudes and perspective have shifted. I seriously doubt you’ll send the letter under those conditions.

But more than that, sending someone a letter that is well thought out is a great idea when you’re trying to express yourself. Look, letters can’t be argued with, they can’t be interrupted, and you can’t derail the train of thought. In fact, even if the letter is negative, most people will read it all the way through.

Sometimes a well worded letter will allow you to convey your feelings where a conversation would not.

Be Mature When You Express Yourself

I don’t take people seriously when they rant, rave, swear, cuss, insult, deride, mock, or get stubborn. These are immature attitudes that prevent and hinder the expression process.

Here is a rule of thumb. If they are willing to talk about others behind their back, they will do it to you too. Let’s stay away from the unproductive gossip, the insults, the profanity, and the finger pointing. These accomplish nothing. Think about it, when is the last time you actually made a situation better by swearing at someone? Maturity in conversation is thoughtfulness, consideration, and the willingness to listen. Show respect to others and they will respect you.

Ask Questions

You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to express yourself in the form of a question.

But the short of it is this, questions allow you to interact with others. They involve you in their thoughts, feelings, worries, and cares. This provides an opportunity to express yourself better to them. Expression is best done when there is good interaction. Thoughtful questions provide this platform.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how_to_express_yourself_to_others